I’m at that age now where my memory is trying to delude me. I have times where I walk purposefully into a room and stop just in the doorway and ask myself, why? Why am I in this room? What did I come here for? I will stand there for a matter of seconds, waiting, waiting for whatever it was that I purposefully strode, with such determination and concentration, to do only to find that what it was I was here for is no longer here!
No, don’t get me wrong. It’s not that the object, or possible “thing I had to do”, isn’t there anymore; no, it’s what I had in mind to do that has gone walkabout. Missing in that place that you can’t quite reach and just as you think it’s come back from beyond, your brain takes you off on another course so you lose it again!
Yes, it’s what I had ‘in mind’. But really it was an ‘out of mind’ experience. It had been there but then it excused itself for a while and left me with this blank, hollow feeling. Sometimes even the thought can transfer into someone else’s mind! How does that happen? So you’re standing there with this bewildered look on your face, trying to remember. You look across to the person who is in your vicinity hoping they will help, when they do! They tell you, “Hey weren’t you going in there to get a book for me?”, “Oh yes”, you say “fancy me coming out without it”. And off you go feeling well pleased with yourself that you remembered………
So, what do you do when the mind blank happens? Do you do what I do and retrace your steps. Do you take yourself back to the place where you thought of ‘the thought’…. But? What happens if that place has already been forgotten and your travel back in time has lead you up the garden path! (Both figuratively and literally!).
For me, luckily, walking back those few moments in time usually gets my mind to ‘give up’ the memory and I can continue back to the room whence I was going to complete my task. Very rarely do I not get that thought back.
For some people they do not get their thoughts back. For some they are lost forever – Alzheimer’s (a form of dementia) – and sadly it is extremely hard for families to watch and live with this, what I would call, cruel disease.
And no…. for those who are reading this who know me, touch wood, it hasn’t happened to anyone in my family, or indeed is not happening to me. What I have learnt though from hearing about it, and reading about it is how I would like to deal with it if it happened to any of my family.
Some people call talking about such things as being negative or a downer; I on the other hand call it being prepared and knowing that I can find ways to deal with something such as this in a positive way.
Oh, and so going back to the subject line of this blog – …. but? What happens if you’re halfway up the stairs? I know I’ll really be starting to lose it if I stop mid-way and can’t remember if I’m going up or down! I guess it’ll keep me fit walking up and down until whatever I was going to do, or find, comes back to mind! Perhaps that’s where the saying, “Mind that step” comes from. I’ll keep that in mind – or will I……